Let’s face it. Selling a house can get a little weird. Sometimes buyers walk in and say things like “I just don’t vibe with the energy in here,” or “Is that a portal to another dimension in the guest bath?”
Totally normal stuff.
But what if your house really is haunted—or worse—haunted by a picky interior designer from the 1970s who refuses to move on until the shag carpet is removed?
Fear not. As a seasoned (and very brave) real estate agent, I’m here to help you decode the most “paranormal” things that might be happening in your home.
1. Mysterious Noises at Night?
You: “It’s the spirits!”
Reality: It’s your 20-year-old fridge wheezing like it just finished a marathon.
Listen, unless you live above a Victorian cemetery or accidentally built your kitchen on a sacred turtle nesting ground, chances are the “ghostly moaning” is just your HVAC begging for retirement.
2. Cold Spots in the Hallway?
Spooky, yes.
But also—hello?—you’re standing under a ceiling fan next to a 1972 drafty window. That’s not a poltergeist, Karen. That’s poor insulation.
Pro tip: Buyers love the word “energy-efficient.” Ghosts? Not so much.
3. Objects Moving on Their Own
You left your Roomba running. Again.
Or your cat is just living her best chaotic gremlin life, knocking things over at 3am. Either way, I promise we can get through this together. And hey—buyers LOVE “open concept”... especially when there's nothing left on the shelves.
4. Unexplainable Feelings of Dread in the Basement
This is just called being in a basement.
Nobody likes it. It's dark, smells weird, and there’s always a random doll staring at you from a corner shelf that no one remembers buying.
Stage it. Bright lights. Cozy blanket. Maybe a fake plant. Boom—no more dread, just “cozy lower-level living area.”
5. Your Smart Home Assistant Talks Unprompted
“Who turned the lights on?”
Probably Alexa. Or possibly the ghost of Thomas Edison. Either way, just unplug her during showings before she blurts out something like, “Okay, summoning your ex now.”
Final Thoughts
While you probably don’t have a haunted house, if your buyer thinks you do, it’s all about spin:
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“Creaky floors” become “historic charm.”
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“Weird smells” become “vintage character.”
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“Flickering lights” = “mood lighting.”
So whether your home is haunted by ghosts or just haunted by questionable décor choices from 1986, remember: in real estate, it’s all about perspective—and maybe a little sage.
If you need help selling your spooky (or not-so-spooky) home, I’m your fearless agent. Ghosts don’t scare me. But lowball offers? Now that’s terrifying.
