Dear Serial Open House Snackers,
We see you.
You roll up in your athleisure outfit, sunglasses on, holding a Starbucks cup you didn’t even try to hide. You stroll in like you might maybe be looking to buy... someday... when the stars align and you win the lottery.
But really—you came for the cookies.
And honestly? Respect.
Who among us can resist the siren song of warm chocolate chip cookies and a perfectly chilled mini bottle of water? Open houses are basically Costco samples for grown-ups with Zillow alerts.
You’re not here to “feel out the market.”
You’re here to “feel out the tray of Publix deli pinwheels.”
The 5 Types of Open House Snackers
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The Drive-By Dipper
They pretend to be on a tight schedule. They make a beeline for the kitchen island, snag three cookies, nod politely, and vanish into the Florida humidity.
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The “Fake Buyer” with Questions
“What year was the roof replaced?” they ask—while slowly chewing a brownie and avoiding eye contact with the actual listing photos.
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The Kid Wrangler
Not even trying to hide it. Brings 3 kids, each of whom leaves with a juice box and a trail of Goldfish.
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The "Neighbor Doing Recon"
“Oh, I live just down the street—I was just curious what they did with the floors.”
Ma’am. You brought a reusable Tupperware container.
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The Snack Reviewer
“These are good, but did you try the sugar cookies at that one open house on Maple Ave last week? Chef’s kiss.”
Don’t worry—we still love you.
You might not be our next buyer or seller (yet), but someday, when you’re ready, we’ll be there—with comps, contracts, and yes… more snacks.
Until then, eat well and walk gently on those staged area rugs. Just don’t steal the staging plants. (Looking at you, Brenda.)
Final Thoughts
To all the casual snack enthusiasts wandering through open houses on a Sunday afternoon—we salute you. You may not be serious buyers, but you sure make the hosting agent's job more entertaining.
Now, if you do happen to fall in love with the layout between bites of cheese cubes, don’t worry—we’ve got a pre-approval form and a napkin ready for you.
